Let's All Love Lain.

Connecting is hard.  Connecting with other people is even harder.  The real world is hard for me to grasp, so the internet is my escape.  However, sometimes it's no better than the real world.  Sometimes, it's worse.  Escaping reality is fun, but what happens when reality escapes you?  Can you connect back?  What is past reality?  So many questions, yet such little time.  It's hard for me to stay in touch with reality sometimes.  The world around me doesn't always feel real.  No matter how long I've come to live in reality, I always find myself slipping back out.  Understanding how I feel is also hard, but Kea helps me a lot.  I love her a lot.  Thank you, kea.  You're my everything.

I am in recovery of a few things, so please respect my dni list.Dni if you glorify ed/sh, fat-phobic, porn addict, zoophiles, drug/weed addicts, nsfw main, perverted, etc. Also basic dni.I do enjoy making friends, though it's hard to keep up.  My socials are linked above Lain.
Please be respectful when talking to me.

A Bit About Me.

Hello.  My name is Kai, however you can call me Clover.  I'm a teenager.  I've been a man since 2020, however I lean towards they/them.  He/him is okay too.I have a very lovely girlfriend named Kea.  She helps me stay connected.  We've been together since 10/19/23.  I'm very happy with her. ♡I like anime, music, and reading manga.  I draw sometimes, however I don't usually share it.  Sometimes I try to make music, however I don't do it often.  I also like singing.Some animes I like are Black Butler, JJBA, Serial Experiments Lain, Magi Madoka Magica, Bucket List of the Dead, RWBY, and A Silent Voice.  It's hard for me to watch anime, so I usually read manga.

This is My Own Diary!

I enjoy talking to myself.  Sometimes, I enjoy it more than talking to others.  I don't know if I'll ever be able to connect with others correctly, but I enjoy being in the wired.  There is a lot of stuff to do, unlike in „real life.“  Why is it so hard for me to connect with others?  Even in my feelings, I feel more for my books than real people!  It's not as pleasant as some people think.

I doubt I will ever be able to express myself correctly.  Even so, I don't know if giving up is worth it.  I've tried everything I can think of, yet nothing works.  Nonetheless, I know Kea will stay.  That I am glad for. Thank you, Kea.Is it time to go back?

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What a Silly Little Secret!

The way I express myself is weird, I guess.  When I truly try to express myself, I'm always judged.  So I prefer to not talk about it. Just like this page!  If you do find this page (Which isn't very hard,) please do not talk to me about it.  If you find it weird, that's okay.  Sometimes I even judge myself.  Although, I don't always know if it's actually me. What more can I do? I don't know.

I Live Inside The Wired!

the world around me isn't real.  at least, it doesnt feel like it is.  when I read words on the board, they all blur together.  the voices in my head talk to me all the time, but they always sound like me!  mostly.  my memory sucks.  sometimes its hard to stay formal, but I can't help it!  when all of these feelings stir up together like one big slushie, how am I to stay calm?  can't I show my feelings once in a while?  can you understand me?  why isn't anyone listening to me?is it time to go? . . . . .

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i think coding is fun, however i rarely do it. haha. maybe i should get back on that. i wonder if it would be fun to code my own website! maybe i could launch something bigger than this. who knows. I definitely dont. maybe i will one day.nonetheless, i am ready to try!

...

...is it time to go?

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update 1
30.9.24
ive spent far too long on the website, however it is up! i do not know how i will keep it up for nor if i will even showcase it to anyone, however i did it! i didn't code a lot, but i did try. i'm new to coding, so i guess i cant really hold myself accountable. i did learn a few things though! excuse my horrid grammar, however i've typed all i can manage for tonight. i should get to bed. goodnight, wired.

update 2
5.11.24
i would like to continue this website, however it just doesnt feel right. i do not like to do things i dont want to. maybe its time to let it go.